You’ll learn to navigate different social situations with confidence. Practice really listening when someone talks, and ask thoughtful questions. This helps you express your thoughts and needs clearly. Strong communication forms the foundation for healthy, lasting friendships. Gradual exposure helps you slowly face feared social situations to build confidence.

Over time, these online interactions can turn into real-world friendships. When you share an interest with others, it’s easier to start conversations. Consider a book club, gaming meetup, exercise class, or any hobby group you’d enjoy. Focusing on an activity together takes the pressure off. The “get out there, then hope someone else takes all the initiative” approach can even work if you’re extremely shy.

Prepare And Practice Calming Strategies

Sociological research reveals that “weak ties”—casual acquaintances rather than close friends—often lead to meaningful opportunities and connections. For shy people, cultivating weak ties feels more manageable than diving into deep friendship. These aren’t vague suggestions like “just be yourself” or “put yourself out there.” These are concrete actions you can implement immediately, regardless of your current situation. Mindfulness and relaxation exercises help calm your mind and body. Techniques include deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation.

When you spread positivity, you’ll feel better about yourself. If you find self-compassion difficult, try to look at your own mistakes as you would those of a friend. People aren’t thinking about you—at least not to the degree that you think. Most people are caught up in their own lives and concerns.

Plus, we’ll show you how games like the Pick Me Up Party Game can be a fun, low-pressure way to get to know others. Making these changes on your own is easier said than done, though. These professionals can help you take these small, personalized steps in a supportive, safe space. Because while anxiety can turn first dates, work dinners, even casual get-togethers into high-stakes moments, it doesn’t have to control your life (or confidence). Many friendship guides emphasize meeting tons of people and “playing the numbers game.” For shy people with limited social energy, this approach is exhausting and unsustainable. You don’t need 50 acquaintances—you need 2-3 genuine friends.

What Success Looks Like For Shy People

• Ask open-ended questions like, “What hobbies do you enjoy?
• You look up in your school’s cafeteria at lunchtime and see Chloe eating alone again.
• This gives you more time for you to get comfortable around everyone.
• Open questions are questions that can have a number of responses, whereas closed questions are questions which are limited to a few set answers.

Don’t hesitate to strike up conversations with classmates during breaks or group activities—they’re likely as eager to make friends as you are. You’ll be working toward a common goal, and that can help build a sense of camaraderie. Doing something physical such as a sport can also take the pressure off a bit and put you in a social situation where you have a clear sense of your purpose and what you can offer. This can be something that shy people find the hardest thing to deal with at parties or networking events. Not knowing what to do with yourself can be many a shy person’s downfall, so a sports club or exercise class can be a great way to feel more confident and connect with others. Imagine walking into a room full of strangers and feeling like you’re on the outside looking in.

Shared interests form the foundation of many friendships. Look for activities or groups centered around things you enjoy or are curious about. The first step in overcoming shyness is to understand it better.

No matter what traits you have, some people will be into them and others won’t. Try to get a lay of the land and figure out who’s more your crowd. For example, your rec softball league goes to a pub after games. Your homebase are the three more low-key teammates who always sit off to one side of the table and chat amongst themselves. You’re looking for your people, not trying to force connection with everyone. For comprehensive conversation strategies, review our guide on how to talk to strangers which provides detailed scripts and approaches.

When you live with roommates, you have the chance to bond over shared experiences like movie nights, cooking, or exploring the city. These everyday interactions can naturally evolve into lasting friendships. If you’re looking to rent a room in Las Vegas or any other city, we recommend SpareRoom.com matchtruly.com for listings that match your preferences and budget. One way of showing how much more empathetic and emotionally attractive you are as a potential friend is by active listening. When you’re shy, it can be challenging to initiate a conversation.

It’s that persistent, deep-rooted fear of being embarrassed, humiliated, or rejected, that doesn’t go away with time or familiarity. Adult friendship isn’t limited to bars and parties—that’s actually a fairly narrow slice of social opportunity. The structured activities suggested (hobby groups, classes, volunteer work, fitness communities) provide abundant friendship opportunities without alcohol or party environments. Many adults actively prefer non-party socialization and are seeking the same thing you are. Focus on finding your people rather than forcing yourself into contexts that don’t work for your preferences or values.

Building Confidence In Social Situations

Relocating strips away your established social network, requiring complete friendship rebuilding—especially challenging for shy people. Friendship isn’t about everyone accepting you—it’s about finding compatible people who appreciate your authentic self. You’re making it easier for the other person (who might also feel uncertain) by taking initiative. Most people feel relieved rather than burdened when someone else does the work of organizing connection. One of the biggest missed opportunities in shy person friendship tips is the failure to follow up after positive initial interactions. This advice sounds encouraging but provides zero actionable guidance.

Chances are the other person isn’t dwelling on any slip-ups, so try to let those go. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend who had an awkward moment. The other person likely isn’t observing you as harshly as you are. Pushing yourself to be present (even briefly) gives you chances to connect. The more you practice saying yes (within your limits), the easier it can become. You could reach out to a coworker, classmate, or neighbor you already know in passing.